Meta déjà vu;
I just got a flash of déjà vu
about having had
a moment of déjà vu
just a year ago
in front of these
same looming doors.
I can always tell when you're in a bad mood
because the worse you feel
the closer the world is to ending;
when you grumble about social reform and how everything is going to shit and we're going to
I'll sit down and wait for you to get it all out, perhaps nod and murmur along.
When things are “seriously fucked up” and something big and irreparable is going to happen
I'll make you some tea and try not to listen too hard
while you get it all out.
If the apocalypse is coming tomorrow,
I generally cower;
the worse your mood is the closer the world is to ending the more you're pacing and
I know you mean me no harm, and
your fear is all directed out your door, but
we are all aliens attempting to land on each others' brains,
our attempts to communicate merely symbolic;
I think the world is ending too
but in a different way at a different time,
because I'm an optimistic kind of girl.
Today has been one of those days.
Couldn't get up on time
couldn't get out on time
and spilled coffee (day-old latte)
on my crotch
(& sweatshirt jacket headphones pants-in-general).
Drove the wrong way on autopilot,
(cursing cursing cursing)
and then again during the corrective measure
(illegal u-turn wrong way down one-way street necessitated)
(but justified because I didn't hit anyone).
Then when I finally arrived;
Zero spots in four lots.
So I gave up.
Every once in a while,
everyone is allowed to give up.
We are allowed to take our misfortunes with good humor
and decline to take them seriously.
We are allowed to forgive ourselves
going to a cafe
and sitting in the sun.
I can't seem to get any work done
or write any poems that don't begin with 'I.'
The air smells so delicious though,
and the sun is dappling through my half-drawn blinds
and lying on my couch underneath it all
is the only thing I feel like doing.
And it's I, I, I,
all the time
because there is no you,
The calm circle certitude of this moment
needs no other link to chain it.
Needs words, but none spoken.
Needs love, but none is lacking.
So, lying here, I can feel free
to center myself.
What drama has greater weight than gravity?
roiling environmental emotion
wobbles Earth loose in its orbital socket.
Delicate, it dances away from the galactic axis,
away from everything, expanding
because it is existential
only happy while its power grows;
stagnancy is just as bad as loss.
An Uber-Earth would never be at rest,
always growing mountains taller, pushing them to rise,
and calling to asteroids 'come join me,
I am bigger than you'
and the bigger it gets
the more persuasive its weight is;
the harder it pulls the harder it pulls.
Space dust flocks to be its aura;
each small cell wants only to be closer;
they cannot stay away,
all gobbling comets together.
Gravity cozies them all closer,
the more the merrier by the megaton.
Finally Uber-Earth will seek
to ally itself with denser matter
and plunge into
the next black hole.
Can't stop won't stop. I'm not committing to a poem-a-day, mind you, just anticipating that most days I'll be writing now that I've gotten in the habit 30/30 style, and I'll probably have something (unedited) to share. So keep your eyes on this space and your mouse on the "comment" button and your fingers on the keys to type a comment; I do want to edit these babies and suggestions are both welcome and necessary. Or just make fun of my klutziness and umbrellas.
Also, check this out: It's a poster for the Sparrow Ghost Collective's Book/CD Release Party this Saturday. A poem (or poems) of mine is/are featured in said book (aka the Sparrow Ghost Collective's first anthology) along with a bucketful of AMAZING, talented poets who are really first rate, keen, hip, groovy, bitchin', and totally on the trolly. Whatever era you're in, they are some skilled, classy beasts and should be checked out and/or made out with and/or flirted with and/or sexed up depending on your personal level of comfort and sense of community involvement and/or civic duty. This is the event's Facebook page.
And I might post a poem later. Who knows?