30 days has September, April, June, and November. I'm not posting every day this month, but I will be writing every day and sometimes sharing.
One too many layers
two too many accessories
creates a thickness on her,
a scum of cheap calculation;
the sweat of mannequins.
She is RossDressForLess,
she is JCPenny and Marshalls and Target
all exploded and crammed back
together with a fistful of hairspray.
Yes, this girl will get into your RV.
Yes, this girl will date in minutes for dollars
and take out the spite of losing on the camera lens
as if it's his balls.
I think I found my voice tonight.
Kneeling in front of my glowing screens,
shoring up my stomach with Smartfood
and my brain with poetry
somehow the words came out
the way they were always supposed to.
Something halfway between my radio voice
and the throaty way I sound when I'm sick.
I found my power tonight.
A way to break from canned cadence,
to never touch it again;
my voice will not moan and sigh and whine
high-pitched and keening
like other girls.
My voice breaking won't make your heart crack
like other girls.
My voice is low,
I found myself pushing past that.
I found myself owning
my mellow, dusky tone.
Here all words are in my range,
they vibrate in my lungs and chest.
Here I know I am centered in myself,
here I embrace that just like everything else
it is no different that I am different,
that I must find my own way.
But there's power in my growl
and I will open it out wide,
I will only grow bigger and bigger
until I can move a mind, a face, a tear
like they can.
I will expand my voice to fit my soul,
to fill every space between words with unanswered echo.
Bloom my arms wide to embrace my truth;
that I am husky like a man and I will use it to my advantage.
I will grab hold of my birthright and pull until I am confident and LOUD,
and you will remember me
exploding into ascendency
a voice to fill both this chamber and the ones in your heart.
Someday I might even sing.